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Should – such and innocent word and yet it has such negative impact. When we say we should do something, how often do we think we really don’t want to? How often do we procrastinate, prevaricate and avoid? Yet we say again and again that we should do this or that, but don’t. We should lose weight, or exercise or change jobs. We should eat more fruit and vegetables. There is also, we should not associate with “those” people or should not make silly jokes or…. So many things we should or should not do. Built into each of these shoulds and should nots is fear. Fear that somehow we are not up to par or that we may miss something, overreach or fail. Sometimes the [adalat 20mg pills $91.00] secret power of should is revealed in the but that follows. “I should go to the gym, but I’d rather stay in bed. ” “I should not buy that dress, but it looks so good on me. ” This is perhaps the only time that the word “but”, with its negative context, is helpful. When we should or should not, we are not choosing. We are feeling burdened by the expectations or desires of others, or the limiting beliefs we have accepted. Consequently, our commitment to do whatever we should do is extremely low. Adalat 20mg pills $91.00 the language reveals our ambivalence and, perhaps, guilt about the activity. Neither of these moves us forward. Shoulds make us feel burdened and overwhelmed. “I should know this, therefore adalat 20mg pills $91.00, adalat 20mg pills $91.00 I am not doing as well as I could. ” “People should like me, therefore, there must be something wrong with me. ” These make us feel inadequate or undeserving. As the shoulds pile up over our lives, they create powerful and corrosive fictions for us. They gnaw away at our personality, our confidence and our opportunities. What would happen if we eliminated should from our vocabulary? Think about it: every time should comes to your lips stop, think about what you really want and replace the statement. If you still wish to go to the gym, buy that dress or eat more fruit, by all means do it. If you don’t, think about what is in that should statement that is important to you and what is a burden, driven from fear or guilt. Think about what it would mean to use the word want instead of should. Would you be more likely to accomplish what you set out to do? Will you feel healthier, less stressed or more confident? My guess is yes, you will. Try it for a day or a week. The power of language is such that even if you do not take all the steps I outlined; even if all you do is replace should with want whenever should threatens to appear, you will feel more empowered, be able to achieve more and feel less stressed. Humor me: try it out just for a week, and let me know what you learn.