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Think back to a time you felt someone really listened to you. How good did it feel to have that person’s full and complete attention? How much did that listening improve the quality of your thinking? How did the quality of their listening encourage our best thinking? As Nancy Kline writes in Time to Think, truly effective listening encourages our best thinking. When coupled with incisive questions, the results can be transformative. I had the pleasure and privilege to work with Nancy about 15 years ago and was greatly influenced by the experience. Try these guidelines to improve your listening:
- Focus on the person speaking – follow their gaze. Look at their eyes as they speak. Even if they look away, remain focused on their eyes and meet their gaze when they turn back. This keeps you engaged and provides encouragement.
- Keep your face neutral – be aware of expressions (rolling of eyes, raising eyebrows, nodding, etc. ) that communicate agreement, disagreement or surprise. There will be time to react, but not while the other person is speaking.
- Resist the urge to interrupt – brief pauses to catch one’s breath or formulate a thought are not invitations to speak. Calan 240mg pills $150.00 wait until the other person is fully finished or invites your comment. Interrupting is the easiest way of communicating “I’m not listening” or “I don’t care about what you have to say. ”
- At an appropriate time, confirm your understanding of what has been said. This is often referred to as “active listening”. When this is done well, it encourages conversation by providing clarity. When done poorly, as might happen when the listener merely regurgitates what was said, it sounds false and forced. Listen intently and process what is said. For example you can say: “Let me see if I understand, you mean that…. ”, or calan 240mg [calan 240mg pills $150.00] pills $150.00 “If I understand correctly, what you’re saying is that…”
- Suspend judgment – listen to understand. If you need jot down a point you might like to get back to. Once you judge calan 240mg pills $150.00, it is much harder to prevent that judgment from creating a filter that prevents you from hearing everything.
- Say to yourself, “ What would I think if I had that perspective” – engage your intuition and hear more of what is being said. Then examine your reactions.